By the mail I have received I am aware that this is a painful time for a lot of women. Many have e-mailed me and asked for my advice of how to survive this Sunday? This is a question I want to answer gently....But honestly..
I want to answer this question to all those who are grieving today for the loss of their mother (through abuse or death). I understand your pain and I value the fact that you have been courageous enough to come to me for the answer. Though I am honored, I must say that I am not qualified to answer such an important question. Please forgive me? But, I will tell you how I survived Mothers day...
The only way that I have come to accept this time of year is through asking many women the powerful question.
1. “How do you feel about Mothers day?”
This is some of the answers to my question:
a. “My mother is the best....but..(pause)”
b. “My mother was not a good person...but... (pause)”
c. “My mother...(pause)...she drives me crazy!”
Well...I continued to search for the answer to the question, “How do I truly feel about this day?” So, I decided to be brave and ask my own daughters. Surely they would give me thier honest answer? Perhaps, through their answers I would somehow heal.
My daughters answers to the question: “How do you feel about mothers day?”
The 22 year-old: “Mom..(pause)...Happy Mothers Day!..(pause)...what would you like? By the way mom, I’m a little low on cash this month. I don’t know how I will pay for my cell phone bill?”..(pause).
The 20 year-old: “WOW!...(clear throat).. Mom, why do you ask?...(pause)..Did you hear about this hot guy I saw the other day?” She totally avoided my question!!!
The 16 year-old: “Mom...you’re always a grouch! ...but...(pause).. I was wondering what you wanted on Sunday?”
The 15 year-old: “Well mom...(pause)..yeah...so, what are we going to do on Mothers Day?”
The 14 year-old: (pause)... "WHAT.. EVER!”....(pause)..that’s a dumb question!"...She walks away rolling her eyes!
My 9-year-old: Mom, you’re the best mom in the whole wide world....(BIG HUGS).no pause!!
The 25 year-old (I pause)...(I giggle to myself)..she now has given birth to 5 children: “Well, Mom...(pause)..I think you are the greatest grandmother. I have the perfect gift for you!...Can you watch the kids? They’re driving us crazy!! We need a night off!” My answer, “I can’t this weekend. This menopause stinks!! Besides it’s mothers day!
So, the question I ask you is: “Who is right regarding my ability to be a mother?” My first response is definitely my 9 year-old! Then I pause!
I probably need to answer this question honestly...(PAUSE)...(GULP)....(CLEAR MY THROAT)..
IT’S ALL EVES FAULT!!! SHE SHOULDN’T HAVE TAKEN A BITE OF THAT APPLE!!
The only way to healing is to forgive Eve, your mother,..(pause)..and yourself!!!
Be kind to yourself on Sunday!
Have a good weekend!